Self Worth;Self Presentation In The 1st Year
Time to read: 3 mins
Despite owning a luxury loungewear company there were days during my mat leave (and even up until recently) that I really didn’t show myself any love with regards to appearance. Comfort and ease were (and still are most days) key but I really took this to the extreme.
I still made an effort when I went out with friends in the day and evening or when I went into the office but day-to-day at the nursery pick up or around my local area, I made zero effort.
The result was that I felt embarrassed to bump into people, often avoiding them and sometimes it was on days where I could have really done with having a chat or seeing a friendly face.
The extremes of going out / working in the office Zoe to local run-around Zoe were at an all-time high, my clothes were all over the place – in our spare room, on a chair in my bedroom. It was a mess.
I have a decent idea of how to put outfits and looks together (as I mentioned I run a loungewear brand and had worked in fashion and media for years before) but between covid, my pregnancy (and hugely fluctuating clothes sizes as a result) plus my new routine with a child in tow; I was definitely feeling a little lost.
I don’t like to buy new clothes every week but instead prefer to buy investment pieces every few months that will last for years. I found Alicia on Instagram and from reading her bio and discovering her ethos knew that she could help me find my feet again with my style as a mum.
We went through my ENTIRE wardrobe, tried on outfits I’d totally forgotten about, found new combinations and created a huge pile of items I no longer wore or liked to be sold or taken to the charity shop. Alicia told me that most people wear 20% of their wardrobe which seems crazy but after having a baby it seems like perhaps that becomes even less! The aim was to curate a wardrobe (out of what you have already) that you wear 80% of. That doesn’t mean chucking everything away, that means getting what you have adjusted so you wear it more and styling different things together.
I made over £500 on vinted selling my clothes I no longer wanted and now have a much better system in place where I can see what I have and where there might be gaps for new items.
If Greg is around to help with our child in the morning, I have a proper look in the wardrobe and spend a few minutes picking out something that will be comfortable but also make me feel good. If I’m on early mornings with our child I pull an outfit the night before and put it on the chair in our room ready to chuck when I jump out of bed. This system means that even when I’m chucking something on in seconds I’ve put thought into making sure it looks presentable and will give me confidence to leave the house standing tall.
The session inspired me to make more effort overall. I confess that before this session with Alicia I often left for nursery pick up without brushing my hair or teeth and definitely didn’t have time for make-up. I would get ready ‘properly’ when I got back from the nursery run. After my session with Alicia, I popped a little make up bag in my bathroom with a spare hairbrush, blusher, concealer and eyebrow gel. Now every morning I spend 2 minutes brushing my hair, teeth and applying a bit of blusher, concealer and eyebrow gel. I can do it with my child at my feet or just as he’s stirring in his bedroom. I’m not sure if anyone else notices, it’s hardly the transformation of the century but it has a big impact on how I feel on that walk to nursery and how friendly I am to the other parents.
“The clothing we put on our backs each day, each morning we dress, has the power to change how we feel.”
Greg’s Response
Whether it's me being a typical male or just not as impacted by this (because I’m working from a low base already), I didn't feel this myself; but my word did I see the impact on Zoe. It was a huge element of her self worth. At first Zoe articulated this in terms of getting back her old self, but over time that evolved into understanding she was evolving into a new form of identity but still wanted to keep a high bar in her presentation. Alicia’s service is one of the top 3 presents I ever bought Zoe (a mothers day gift), it helped her organise, gain self confidence and find a way through the emotional turmoil of being ‘put together’. Zoe’s change in energy and positivity was evident and therefore a big win for her and us the family!
TAKEAWAYS
Comfortable clothes such as loungewear, leggings, sweatshirts can still look put together. Matching sets are a great option or working on the theory of having a tight bottom half (leggings) with a looser top or a looser bottom half with a tighter top.
Looking after your clothes is another key to looking put together. For some reason (sleep deprivation, hormones, life turning upside down) our standards seem to slip once we’ve had children but try to keep an eye out for holey / saggy leggings, wearing your husband’s jumpers outside of the house and clothes that are stained.
Need a helping hand? We have just the thing - check out Alicia’s packages here.
