Your Mental Health Toolkit
Time to read: 2-3 mins
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently is that maintaining balanced mental health only seems to get the attention it deserves when things are good (funny that, since you are practising all the habits that contribute to positive mental health) OR when you’re at rock bottom and you’ve essentially had an intervention with yourself, or perhaps your loved ones have expressed concern.
Over the last few years, I have subconsciously been building a toolkit for positive mental health. My personal toolbox consists of; time spent connecting with friends and family, moving my body, getting outside once a day, and reading a few pages of a book every day. When I feel myself slipping into a negative mindset I up the ante and reduce or cut my alcohol intake, book in with a therapist and limit my phone time.
Something else that really does help me feel more balanced is to spend a little time making myself presentable every day. A decent outfit and a bit of time on hair and make-up.
During that first year of having a child where your mental health can range from very low to absolute elation and everything in between (partly hormones, partly a huge life shift) you often don’t have the time, physical or mental capacity to utilise those healthy habits in your toolbox. You know you should do at least some of them, but things just feel so heavy and hard.
Things seem particularly harder in the winter months when the motivation to leave the cosy house out into the pouring rain is non-existent.
I think the key is to redefine and modify some of the healthy habits that have helped you in the past. Now instead of spending an hour getting ready I spend approximately 3 minutes simply brushing my hair and popping it into a slicked back bun, applying a little cover up, blusher and eyebrow gel on and a casual outfit that’s comfy but is still presentable, a matching leggings and top set perhaps. It’s very minimal effort and all do-able with a crazy toddler at your feet but compared to zero hair and make-up, horrible saggy leggings and one of Greg’s huge hoodies it seems monumental.
Moving my body used to mean an amazing boxing session or an hour’s run but now it’s a 10-20 minute at-home workout. Still, it makes me feel a whole lot better than when I wasn’t doing anything.
Time spent connecting with family and friends has turned into lunch or coffee with friends but again, that’s better than cutting myself off and often comes with less of a headache from a night out.
There are many ways you can adapt your habits and maybe you already have, but for anyone who thinks they can no longer do the things that fill up their cup I believe that the key is to get creative during this time about how you can adapt that habit with your child around. Honestly, even if you do 1% of the habits in your toolkit it will make you feel so much better and so much more like yourself.
Greg’s response
One of the things I admire most about Zoe is how open she is about her mental health and her proactiveness in finding ways to improve it. She has built an early detection system for challenges in her health meaning her ability to manage extreme highs and lows that parenthood threw at us both was great, I definitely took her lead here. Discovering those healthy habits that can help you rise from lows and the ability to adapt what you used to have, in a way that works for you now as a time starved parent is the key takeaway for myself. It's not easy, a constant work in progress, but by identifying the healthy habits first, it has massively helped me deal with my own mental health.
TAKEAWAYS:
Nail down the healthy habits that are in your mental health toolkit, things that can help you get out of a slump and feel good.
When time, physical or mental capacity is stretched, think about how you can adapt some of these healthy habits so that you can still incorporate even a small essence of them into your every day.
