The Weekends Are Different
Time to read: 2-3 mins
On the long list of things I didn't expect as a parent was the reframing of what a weekend actually is when you have kids. Those glorious Saturday mornings of gym + brunch + pub garden seem a distant memory and now become a rare treat versus my regular routine. In many ways it felt cruel how disillusioned I was with weekends as a parent, it seems obvious now but that first 5am wake up call on Saturday morning was a stark reminder of just how much life had changed.
So enough whining, it was time to take action and reclaim elements of what the weekend is. The first sacred rule was to get out of the house by 9am. Our son needed it, we needed it, and it didn't really matter what we did, rather we got out of the house. We joined a local toddlers’ athletics club, perfectly situated close to our favourite coffee shop, this was a guaranteed 8.45am winner for our household. As our son got older the options got better (football, rugby) and took more time. My wife and I would either go together or divide and conquer based on our personal list of things we needed to get done.
The next was the pub. My own father always used to comment that a pub garden is often more fun for a toddler than a playground and that was his excuse for taking us so often. If it aint broke dont fix it! So from 4 weeks old, we started taking our son to the pub with us. It enabled us to drink (critical in those tough early months) but also for our son to subconsciously get comfortable with crowds of people, rowdy people too. As he grew up and became able to walk, he was soon super comfortable running around pub gardens finding other kids or just staring and shouting ‘dog’ at dogs & humans! Getting the pub back into the weekend routine had been achieved.
After getting cocky that we smashed parenthood, we went a step further and took our boy from 12 months to AFC Wimbledon and eventually on to Twickenham for rugby. These large and loud crowds took some adjustment, but after a few goes, our son started to really enjoy it and created another piece to the puzzle. Lastly and so importantly, you need good childcare, great organization and communication to create time just for adults. Gone were the weekends where we could just ‘go with the flow’, instead we got better and continue to improve in booking regular date nights, building an impressive roster of baby sitters and maximizing the wonderful evenings when our son is asleep.
The one thing not mentioned above are parks, all the bloody parks. Typically twice a day and mundane as hell, I would just take the time to remind myself that our boy burning lots of energy can only ever lead to good sleep, so it was an investment in time back later in the night and morning.
Zoe’s response
In many ways I actually prefer our weekends now. I love that I’m not a hungover slug on the sofa for a whole Saturday or Sunday, I love that we can always get into the good brunch places because we go so early and I love all the time outdoors too. I’ve even managed to sneak in some of the things I always wanted to do together under the guise of ‘our son will love it!’, things like art exhibitions (that now seem to be really immersive, so great for kids) and I know that’s what Greg’s done with getting the whole family tickets to the sporting events he wanted to go to anyway.
It’s the hour early you have to leave the pub to put your child to sleep, because he’s getting tricky that stings a bit when all your childless friends are staying out, but the next morning I’m usually glad of it.
TAKEAWAYS:
Get out the house early. The day becomes easier once the front door closes.
Incorporate as much as possible your baby/child into your existing routine. Kids love adult settings and teaching them from an early age helps with their flexibility and behaviour.
Find time just for adults. Plan date nights and build childcare options so you can regain the weekends for rest & relaxation between the chaos and park trips!
